Monday, October 27, 2014

You Know Nothing (Jon Snu)

(And if you get that reference I like you a little more)

We've all been in the situation where either we have been told (reproachfully) that we "don't know anything" about the situation - or where we have ourselves have committed this accusation. 

It is commonly said in heated situations (and we're not all hotheaded or confrontational enough to personally experience it), but that doesn't mean there isn't a relevant lesson for everyone. 

Why is this such a well-known social situation? Because judgments are made too early - and this happens when people don't have a full grasp of situations. While this isn't difficult to extrapolate, let's take it a step further... not having grasp of the situation occurs because of our assumptions, overestimation of our understanding, and lack of communication

  1. Assumptions
In the construction of your life you have built yourself a nice rule-book. You have done this whether or not you are aware of it and you are not given an option. That rule-book is unique and you trust it until you are given reason to think otherwise - either through direct attack or new situations. However, that rule-book is not the only answer to behavior in life, though personally you act as though it was. Your rule-book is perfect for you. Other people have their own, and it doesn't necessarily align (and neither are these differences obvious even to the most acquainted people). When interacting or empathizing with another we have to keep this in mind. They don't necessarily play by the same rules. Losing sight of this is an easy way to fracture situations or relationships. 
  1. Understanding
Overestimating our understanding of situations goes hand-in-hand with the previous point. To think that our rule-book applies to their complex situation or to think that we can ever purely understand what another is going through is folly. 
  1. Communication
Even though the previous (pessimistic) statements may be true that of course doesn't mean you shouldn't try. But you have to communicate in open, honest and effective ways. "Open and honest communication" is common colloquial terminology, and if you are capable of this you should work on the effectiveness of your communication. This is to say that not only are you using the most effective and accurate descriptions of your feelings, but also that you are probing your conversation partner for their understanding and you are also explaining the reasoning behind each point you are making. 

Everyone's life is as complex as yours - and to try to fix/understand/help/affect another's can be equally complex (especially in the heated situations when this phrase is used).